A More Appropriate Title Being: Idiotic Things ‘Health’ Magazines and ‘Fitness’ Individuals Say:
Let’s look at a person whose articles I only read if I feel like being angry for the rest of the day (in all honesty, sometimes it’s fun to be in a huff.) Her name is Michelle Bridges, she is a fitness trainer but also gives random advice on diet too, because she can. Her official Facebook thingy has over 834,000 followers, a fair amount of people, so let’s hope what she says is sensible and not in any way disordered!
Her talking on being fit:
Is the reward for your physical efforts fun? Yes. Is enjoying the payoffs of your fit physique enjoyable? Absolutely. Is the point in your training session where your muscles are screaming at you and you’re headed for the vomit zone fun? No.
So… exercising to the point of wanting to vomit is normal? Why don’t gyms provide buckets then, next to all the exercise bikes? Also if I was (able) to swim crazily enough to need to throw up, that’d be really gross. And inconsiderate of others using the pool. And did I mention gross?
Michelle’s recommendation for a fun snack:
What I call my “legume extravaganza”: 10 snow peas, 10 sugar snap peas and 10 green beans. Just 210 kilojoules the lot!
Apparantly thirty beans is a great fun happy snack that everyone will love, I bet it gives you loads of energy and doesn’t leave you feeling miserable and hungry at all. Eat thirty beans and you will be popular and have lots of friends. You may also fart a lot.
What is Michelle’s “Secret Vice“?
Dark chocolate, any kind, the darker the better. I’d have a square every couple of days with a cup of tea.
Oh, the shame and scandal of it all! Blasphemy! The horror! Heresy! That’s too much! Desecration! She sounds SO indulgent, she better keep on track of this huge chocolate consumption otherwise it may spiral out of hand!!!! God forbid she has a WHOLE square EVERY day!!!!!!
But maybe it’s just her, surely there are more sensible, informed people out there who advise the masses?
Take Dr Chris Van Tulleken, he’s a doctor, so here’s hoping! He had a show named “The Truth About Calories,” and an article about the show mentioned his “Golden Rules on How to Prevent Weight Gain”:
Leave half the chips on your plate and mop the oil off those you do eat.
Maybe Dr Joanna McMillan, a nutritionist who gives advice to people who have told her what they eat in a day?
A presenter from MTV mentioned what she had for breakfast: rolled oats with banana, blueberries, raspberries, yoghurt, cinnamon, psyllium husk, LSA [linseed, sunflower and almond] mix and a tablespoon of coconut oil; and in the arvo: dark chocolate – or a Milky Way! For dinner, it’s: baked salmon fillet rubbed with coconut oil and pepper, plus peas, steamed broccoli and cauliflower.
She also has ice-cream, a green salad for lunch, and coffee, so in my personal opinion she seems normal, healthy, not restrictive. She doesn’t have any carbohydrates (like bread, rice or pasta) after breakfast, but I’m not here to judge her diet. Joanna is! And what does she say?
Her dark-chocolate snack… is a better choice than the Milky Way.
No shit Sherlock. But when you eat chocolate, it’s a treat, and there’s no point eating chocolate if it’s just for health.
Salmon is a top source of omega-3 fats, but I wouldn’t add coconut oil, which is simply more fat; the natural fats present are enough to cook it.
How dare she add extra fat to her meal!!! I guess all fish from now on will have to be fried, grilled or baked with only water and juice! Om nom nom. Things deep fried in water are the best.
In another ‘My Day on A Plate,’ the chairman of a cookie company describes his meals and snacks. After a long day, it’s time for a dessert. I indulge in a sticky date and ginger cookie with vanilla ice-cream.
Joanna’s response to this part is:
If Gordon has his weight under control, there’s no problem with the cookie treats.
Therefore, say Gordon is fat, he is not allowed any cookies. At all. Until he loses weight. He has to restrict on all treats (even though this may make him binge on them eventually.) And let’s say your weight is “out of control” because of medication, for instance. No more cookies for you. Ever.
Maybe someone else? The chef Pete Evans? He’s no doctor, but still claims his paleo diet will “cure autism.” Do you know someone who is autisic? Give them some bone broth and they will get better! Yay! Apparantly it’s that simple!
Maybe you have an autistic toddler? Pete has just the thing for you! Well… he did. He published a book “Bubba Yum Yum: The Paleo Way For New Mums, Babies & Toddlers,” but it kind of got recalled by health experts because it literally had the potential to kill babies with its recipes.
I could go on, but I give up.